I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
