I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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