i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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