Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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