so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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