i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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