I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize