Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
