I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
