but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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