..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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