I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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