I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
