We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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