She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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