Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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