He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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