If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize