i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize