I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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