well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
