we have pet lesbian snakes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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