She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize