I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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