They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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