dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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