Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You are a genius and a whore.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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