I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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