It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
