they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Let's get the cat blown out
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
