Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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