Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
