At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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