Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
