With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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