they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
