I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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