And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
