so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
