This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
