dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
