i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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