Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
