i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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