I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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