Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
