he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
