My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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