I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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