Michael Bay diarrhea
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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