i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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