i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize