This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you