I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.