I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal