whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole