My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize