I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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