So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
