her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize