I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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