it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize