I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?