D3 body, D1 cock
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.