Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch