I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
