I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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