my soul wont recognize me after tonight
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going