I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome