we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize