I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize