He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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